Doing That Thing
by luvinSasuNaru
Summary: How humiliating is it to go undercover as a waitress? What if you're a guy having to do it as a girl? And what if your partner in this whole mission is someone utterly uncalled for? And maybe, what if you started to fall in love?
1. The Change

Title: Doing that thing.

By: luvinSasuNaru

_Summary: _How humiliating is it to go undercover as a waitress? What if you're a guy having to do it as a girl? And what if your partner in this whole mission is someone utterly uncalled for? And maybe, what if you started to fall in love?

_Pairings:_ Sasuke x Naruto.

_Ultimate disclaimer: _I don't own Naruto and this fic is purely uses the characters in Naruto for my own entertainment and no profit is being made. This applies to all subsequent chapters under this fic.

**Chapter 1: The Change.**

Naruto POV:

Oh why oh why did I have to do this? Seriously, couldn't this have waited until _after_ **she** came back?! I mean, it's not _normal_ for a guy to be wearing this kind of ... of ... is this even classified as _clothes_?!! Gward! I should have just declined when I had the chance, well, not that I was _given_ any choice but really, who would believe that this would work anyway? Either the person had to be blind or extremely drunk to not notice that I, Uzumaki Naruto, am a GUY!! And FOR FUCKS SAKES!!! STOP TOUCHING MY ASS!!!

"Please, Toudou-san! I'm working!" I giggle in the most girliest voice I can master before swatting his grubby hands off my behind and making my way back to the counter...only to be barfing and thinking of a million and one ways of how to make the old-hag suffer for the next eight months after I get off this mission.

I'm going to kill her! I'm going to kill her! I'm going to kill her!

However, my murderous chanting gets me nowhere as the old-hag is still alive and probably laughing her ass off back at Konoha. This is the suckiest mission I have ever been in. If only _Ino_ had been available would I not have to suffer this ridiculous situation. Right now I am in a room full of drunken retards that smell as if they have never even heard of the word soap or water in a couple of centuries. I wouldn't mind really if this was any other situation but the fact that I am in a _skanky_, _short_ kimono that covers NOTHING below my butt and NOTHING above my should blades ... well, you get the picture.

Well, at least I'm not the only one in on this mission. I've been having a ball of a time when Shika-chan comes in. He he he. When this mission is over, I am so going to tease him about the little nickname I came up with. I just hope I don't get _that_ embarrassed when he teases me about the kimono I'm wearing ... maybe on second thoughts, I might not tease him. I would sooooo die of the humiliation ... especially if that teme found out.

Anyway, who was the retarded _idiot_ that wanted a spy that had blond hair and blue eyes?!?! That's it, I have now completed my list of who to kill:

Old-hag.

The old geezer that just grabbed my butt ... again.

The client.

Old-hag (after I've revived her with some jutsu).

... and maybe the old-hag again just for good measure.

I think that looks like a marvelous list. Now if only I can include more ... hm ... who else can I include?

"Miko-chan! I need you to serve table ten!" yelled a robust red-head as she passed by me.

"Hai!" I replied as I made my way towards table ten. Really, this mission is going to be the end of me and it's only the third day in.

"Welcome to Miura's Shed! My name is Miko and I'll be serving you tonight. What would you like tonight?" putting on a somewhat dazzling smile although not too dazzling in case this old fart would start grabbing my butt as well.

"I'll have whatever the special meal is with some warm sake." grunted an amused voice.

Oh _hell no_! Just _NO_! This _cannot_ be happening! Sure Shikamaru told me yesterday that I'd get a change in partners but ... _**NO**_ Why in all the world did it have to be _him_?!

_Ad:_ I need a beta. Anyone interested?

_A/N:_ Hopefully, there's not too many mistakes in here and I'll be able to put up the next chapter soon (if study persists). Also, the next chapter will be longer.


	2. Wrong Code

**Chapter 2: Wrong Code**

"Your _dress_ is too short ... and I highly doubt I'm free tonight." smirked (_smirked_) the man at table ten.

And thus my life has ended in a lovely array of pinks and purples. I've never really wanted to commit suicide in my whole entire life. Just wanting to have the floor swallow me up is not good enough right now. I was thinking of how it would look if I just up and grabbed that knife from table nine and started stabbing myself. I wonder if it could stop the blush that's running up to my face. Hm ... maybe it wouldn't considering it didn't cut through that steak hanging from that guy's rotten teeth.

Refocusing my attention back to the smart bastard sitting at the table, I felt an urge to just ignore him and to hell with this mission. I mean, it's not as if I needed this mission to pay for my living expenses ... okay, maybe I did but still! There's at least some dignity that I could pull back here! I mean, it's not as if I could ignore him!

Wait. Maybe I could ignore him ... for a while at least. I mean, he didn't _exactly_ say the correct code ... so ...

"Why _thank you_! I always thought this _kimono_ was a bit too short but it does allow me to do my _job_ quickly. If you'll excuse me, I'll go get your order ready." Then, giving him an even more dazzling smile and winking shudders once, I was off to _personally_ make his meal.

Ten minutes later and I had a perfectly hot, steamy, cooked with my own personal touch (a big gob of my spit) meal and walking towards the smug bastard.

"Here you go _honey_! Here's your meal and sake. Hope you enjoy and _do come again_." I giggled once before blushing and making my exit. And _that_ my dear friends is the best acting of the year.

I glance over my shoulder one more time to catch a marvelous scrowl on that perfect pale skin. Ah, my life is now right with the world. Humming a little tune to myself, I swatted another hand that tried inching towards my butt and carried on towards the next customer. Yes, life was starting to look up for me and I just couldn't _wait_ to see what would happen tomorrow.

- - - - The next night - - - -

Well, kami seemed to be taking pity on me and pushing something good towards my way because lo and behold! Look who the cat dragged in! Yes, that's right! No one other than the high and almighty Uchiha Sasuke came walking in drenched in water from head to toe from the ragging storm outside. Yes, kami was definitely being nice to me for once.

Holding back a snicker behind my hand, I turned around to start serving some other customers as I watched from the corner of my eye as the teme started taking his overcoat off and heading towards the same table at the back. Ah, what should I do today to piss off the mighty ice prince off more? Hm ... I think more ignoring is in order! Yosh! Time to really act out my disguise! I mean, I'm not going to put the mission in danger if I ignore that bastard. Heck, there's nothing _to _report at this moment. Plus he didn't _exactly_ give out the right code. I mean, if I was to do this stupid disguise I might as well make my partner suffer as much as possible. And that is exactly what I'm going to do, especially if my partner happens to be one brooding, dark-haired Uchiha.

Smiling like I did the other day, I made my way around the place serving customers. At the corner of my vision, I saw the same red-head from yesterday making her way towards the raven-head and _tried_ to suppress a snicker behind my tray. I mean, I couldn't get caught so easily now can I? But alas, my time of laughter was being cut short as I swatted another hand away from my butt and saw Rukia (the red-head) huff in annoyance and make her way towards me. Well, it seems like this was going to become interesting.

"Hey Miko-chan! Can you get the _nerve_ of that guy in the back?! He's so arrogant!! Anyways, he wanted you to serve him! That bastard! As if a pretty girl like me wasn't enough!" growled Rukia.

"Really? He seemed nice enough yesterday." **barf** As if.

"Well, he's a bastard now and he wants you. He's your problem now. I'll serve this table for you. You just worry about that dick-head over there."

Making my way over to the bastard's table, I felt a sense of companionship towards Rukia. I mean, she and I think alike and the only people to think he's a bastard and a dick-head after just one encounter with the Uchiha is me and her. I may come back here even after this mission ... or not. Seriously, what is up with everyone trying to cop a feel??!! Would they still do that if I told them that I also had a dick?!

Putting up a weak smile and forcing a blush to come to my cheeks, I managed to flutter my eyes a _little_ before stuttering a welcome to that asshole. Seriously, I don't get how every chick back home managed to put up with this front every single time the bastard's here. I mean, what's so great about him that blinds you from his mistakes? Hm...that's a good question.

Cocking my head to the side, I half listened to his order as well as tried to discern my current curiosity. I guess I _could_ understand what all the other girls (and maybe a few guys) saw here. Heck, I mean, even I'm impressed at what I see. He's like the epitome of perfection with that pale skin, dark locks of hair, deep black eyes ... whoa ... his eyes look pretty like that ... and now moving on.

Yeah, that seems like a good thing to do. I don't exactly want to see where _that_ train of thought went.

Anyways, now onto the next feature...um...his body? Somehow this seems to be a dangerous territory for me to be in but hey, I never think of these things. So, his body...hm...I'm so going to sulk here. I mean, it's not fair! Why did that bastard have to have all the good features and be all masculine while I'm all skinny and short? Okay, maybe that's because I didn't eat right during my adolescence period but that couldn't be helped! I was poor! Why'd he have to be rich?!

Life is definitely not fair.

And because life is not fair, I'm going to make this Uchiha sitting in front of me suffer. And suffer he will.

"You look retarded with that face. I feel sorry for the guy that's going to ask you out." grunted the oh so heart throb of Konoha...and fuck you too bastard.

Faking a few sniffs I managed to mumble a depressed reply of getting his order and then made sure that he saw my fake tears at the edge of my eyes before making my exit. Yes, I _am_ the actor of the whole century!

A few minutes later and I had the teme's order and sake. Ah, would you look at that, he's in such deep thought. I wonder how long this facade is going to last? I mean, I do have things to report...although they're insignificant but hey! I _do _need to get paid after this. I mean, I'm not rich like that bastard and can be a shinobi just for the hell of it. Okay, maybe that just made me feel as if I've given up on my Hokage dream...well, I guess I have but that's an entirely different story altogether of why life sucked.

Mustering up a shaky smile, I stuttered a few words before making my hasty retreat. Really, this is depressing me more than I thought. ARGH! Think happy thoughts! Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts! Sasuke-teme being run over by his fan club! **snicker** Now that would be funny to see!

Taking a little sneak at the said Sasuke-teme I was proud to say that he looked a bit annoyed. Yes, now that's what I'm talking about. Hah! Beat that Sasuke-bastard! But alas! Good times are cut short as some old geezer managed to slap me one...in which I slapped him back too...across the face. This is going to be a loooong night. Especially if my boss' face is anything to go by...I am soooo in for it now. Damn.

It's all that bastard's fault.

_A/N:_ hahaha…I had managed to finish this chapter before the three-day period was up. Dam, why did ff have to have that rule? sigh Oh well. Anyways, I'm going to be busy with exams soon soooo…I may not be updating that quickly. Hope this will do until then!


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